10 TWITTER MOMENTS: JACK HARLOW IS A HUGE FAN OF MILFS

by Jess Grant
8/25/21

Hi, everyone! How are you? How's your week going? If you're tired of doomscrolling through all of this talk of the COVID-22 super variant and are looking for something a little more fun and lighthearted to help you make it over Hump Day, then I'm pleased to tell you you're in the right place. Oh, and don't worry, you also won't find any Milk Crate Challenges in this latest edition of We Are: The Guard's 10 Twitter Moments, featuring Jack Harlow, Cardi B, Lil Nas X, and lots more!

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JACK HARLOW IS A HUGE FAN OF MILFS

That moment when you discover you were born several decades too late for Jack Harlow...PAIN! Something tells me I need to hack into my mom's Facebook account if I want any chance of making it with the "INDUSTRY BABY" rapper. Desperate times call for desperate measures, okay?

 

CARDI B NEEDS TO BUY A BIDET

LMAO! Love her or hate her, you can't deny Cardi B isn't her most authentic self on Twitter. And, let's be honest, the "Rumors" rapper is only tweeting what the rest of us are thinking most of the time. I have one word of advice, and one word of advice only, Belcalis Marlenis Almánzari: BIDET!

 

LIL NAS X IS ENTERING HIS LORDE ERA

First things first: Lil Nas X is a Lorde stan? I really do love to see it! Secondly: I'm absolutely here for his Midsommar Era! Bring on the epic embroidery and flower crowns! P.S. This doesn't mean the Gay Cowboy Era is completely out of the picture, though, right? RIGHT?

 

HALSEY IS A GOTH MOM

ASHLEY NICOLETTE FRANGIPANE, EVERYONE! It's only been six weeks since she gave birth to her baby, but Halsey is already back to slaying with her gothic makeup lewks like it's nothing! Can we also take a moment to discuss that outfit Ender is wearing? The rock star jumped out!

 

LADY GAGA REMINDS US TO SPREAD LOVE

This, this, and this!

Source

 

ARIANA GRANDE IS GOING TO SPACE

*Miley Cyrus screaming voice* WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Are we thinking a music video for thank u, next favorite "NASA?" Maybe a live performance at the MTV VMAs in September? Perhaps she's booked a flight to the moon with Jeff Bezos? Just give us some answers, already!

 

NORMANI WANTS TO PERFORM AT THE VMAS

Speaking of the VMAs, can someone please, please, please tell me why Miss. Normani Kordei Hamilton still isn't booked to perform at the Barclays Center in New York City next month? The world is quite literally begging for a live performance of "Wild Side." Do the right thing, MTV!

 

SHAMIR NEEDS TO OPEN AN ETSY STORE

Shamir's talents really know no bounds, huh? The We Are: The Guard favorite recently took time out from promoting his upcoming mixed-media chapbook of essays But I'm a Painter (Pre-order it here!) to drop this knitted Emma Chamberlain dupe. I can't be the only one hoping he opens an Etsy store ASAP?

 

LIZZO DESERVES ALL OF THE TONY AWARDS

The flute? The outfit? The camera angles? Everything about this is an absolute masterpiece! Give Lizzo all of the Tony Awards, already! Oh, and while we're on the topic, has anyone else been streaming "Rumors" like their life depends on it? Song of the Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring, much?

 

MISSY ELLIOTT HAS SOME WISE WORDS

And finally, some very, very, very wise words of wisdom from the Goddess of Rap herself, Missy Elliott. If you're not where you want to be in life at the moment, then consider this a sign to keep pushing on regardless. One day, all of your hard work will pay off. Right, Missy?

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Why not follow We Are: The Guard on Twitter for lots more? xo

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Jess Grant is a frustrated writer hailing from London, England. When she isn't tasked with disentangling her thoughts from her brain and putting them on paper, Jess can generally be found listening to The Beatles, or cooking vegetarian food.