Posers: Four Hype-Fail Tracks
by Jess Grant
10/11/12
We here at LA Music Blog BitCandy pride ourselves on bringing you the best indie, electro and alt pop, every week! But we also see it as our job to bring you the WORST, simply because there is so much BS on the blogosphere, yo! So here at Posers, we take the most over-hyped songs of the past week and cut them down to SIZE! Let the bitching COMMENCE!
Solange “Losing You”
Wow. Pitchfork jumped the shark in naming this a “Best New Track.” Solange, I'mma let you finish, but Beyonce had the best career of ALL TIME! Plus, just because you got your big sis to go see Grizzly Bear doesn't make you cool. And anyway, there is no way we would EVER see Solange in the ghetto for real!
CHVRCHES "The Mother We Share (A JD Twitch Optimo Remix)"
CHVRCHES, why did you let JD Twitch Optimo (stupid name) shit all over your brilliant song? Seriously, we don't even think it's worth your while pressing play! Just go listen to the original instead!
SBTRKT "Terminal"
Well this is totally fucking meh, SBTRKT! We are pretty sure we could have wrote this monotonous synth line in our sleep. What has happened, dude? You used to be SO awesome!
Doldrums "She Is The Wave"
What IS this shit? It is just NOISE! But wait, what is that other sound we hear? Oh, only the ENTIRE blogosphere fapping all over Doldrums. Why?! He SUCKS! And he dresses like a total cornball hipster too.
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Well thanks for checking out our Posers column, yo! But do YOU agree with LA Music Blog BitCandy's over-hyped selections? Or do you think we are total ASSHOLES? Leave your love letters / hate mail below! Mwah <3!
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